Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Trying to stay sane

How does one stay sane amidst chaos? How can one be happy when there is so much craziness surrounding her? How can someone live life fully when she feels like she has no freedom?

These are some of the questions I have been asking myself recently. Do you have the answers?

Here are some statistics that I've seen in the news or heard about lately...
-50 murders have taken place in Salvador since January 1.
-There were over 2,000 murders that took place here last year.
-Every day at least 3 buses in Salvador are robbed. This means that robbers enter, armed, and steal money, cell phones and whatever else from everyone on the bus.
-Last Friday at 6:30AM on the hill by my house a woman was robbed by a couple. I walked down that hill on Friday at about 6:10AM.

I'm trying my damnedest to think positive, but it's becoming increasingly difficult when there is all this negativity around me. I'm going back to the US on March 5 and really want the rest of my time here to be spent in a positive manner, but it's been really hard on me. The only place I feel safe is in my apartment, and I feel like I'm experiencing symptoms of agoraphobia, not wanting to leave and go walk around outside.

I'm taking as many precautions as I can...taking more taxis, only walking with someone (usually Vilma), not staying out late, keeping to areas where there are lots of people around, and still I feel unsafe. The thing that is most frustrating is that you can never predict when some kind of crime or violence will occur. Any time of the day it could happen. I could get on any bus and that bus could be one of the three that day that get robbed. I could walk from the bus stop to my house and that could be the day that there is robber hanging around waiting for someone to rob. I hate the uncertainty of it all.

So if anyone has any suggestions, I would certainly appreciate it. I feel like I've tried everything I can think of and still feel really stressed out.

5 comments:

Mrs. S said...

I dont have any suggestions, i wish i did though! I do hope that you stay safe and watched over. I can not believe there have been 50 deaths! That is just awful! And along with all the other things. Its statistics like that, that my family goes crazy when we talk about me moving to Brazil. They are terrified something will happen to me. Though I try and assure them that it could happen anywhere at anytime to anyone.

Stay safe and I will be praying for your protection

Mei said...

I am glad to hear that you are moving back to the States! I carry a rosary to feel safe, although I am not religious, and have cash pinned into my bra when I go out. My wallet is a total decoy and has an ING debit card with barely anything on it and a mess of small bills.

Pedra said...

I see lots of folks here making the sign of the cross as they leave their houses, get into cars, get on the bus, etc and I understand why!

Thanks for the thoughts... I really hope nothing bad happens in the next 2 months.

Leo said...

Pedra...thinking about bad joo joo has the tendancy of bringing bad joo joo. Forget the crucifix, or the sign of the cross. Smile a little bit more, and remember how nice it is to be alive. You'll feel better I promise you. ;- )

Anonymous said...

I am quite familiar with Salvador. I would only say this I am originally from New York and after 9/11 many of my friends decided that they were not going to fly again that they were not going outside the US. They felt safe just by staying close to home and I can understand that but this no way to live life. I believe GOD wants us to have an abundance life. As flr me I try to live life to the fullest with no regrets. I travel quite often and I go to Brasil 5 to 6 times a year I learned to take certain precautions but eventually what ever happens it is fate it was meant to be. This is why I try to live my life to the fullest and try not to worry or think about negative things especially things you have no control over.