How does one stay sane amidst chaos? How can one be happy when there is so much craziness surrounding her? How can someone live life fully when she feels like she has no freedom?
These are some of the questions I have been asking myself recently. Do you have the answers?
Here are some statistics that I've seen in the news or heard about lately...
-50 murders have taken place in Salvador since January 1.
-There were over 2,000 murders that took place here last year.
-Every day at least 3 buses in Salvador are robbed. This means that robbers enter, armed, and steal money, cell phones and whatever else from everyone on the bus.
-Last Friday at 6:30AM on the hill by my house a woman was robbed by a couple. I walked down that hill on Friday at about 6:10AM.
I'm trying my damnedest to think positive, but it's becoming increasingly difficult when there is all this negativity around me. I'm going back to the US on March 5 and really want the rest of my time here to be spent in a positive manner, but it's been really hard on me. The only place I feel safe is in my apartment, and I feel like I'm experiencing symptoms of agoraphobia, not wanting to leave and go walk around outside.
I'm taking as many precautions as I can...taking more taxis, only walking with someone (usually Vilma), not staying out late, keeping to areas where there are lots of people around, and still I feel unsafe. The thing that is most frustrating is that you can never predict when some kind of crime or violence will occur. Any time of the day it could happen. I could get on any bus and that bus could be one of the three that day that get robbed. I could walk from the bus stop to my house and that could be the day that there is robber hanging around waiting for someone to rob. I hate the uncertainty of it all.
So if anyone has any suggestions, I would certainly appreciate it. I feel like I've tried everything I can think of and still feel really stressed out.