Our computer has a virus and is basically out of commission until we get the problem fixed, so I am going be a little short on the blog entries for a while. I will do my best to put an update in here and there from the language school computer lab until the home computer is back up and running.
Last night I had kind of a meltdown. Vilma and I were walking from our apartment down to the language school and I saw these 3 guys who looked like they were totally scoping out the scene to get ready to rob someone (there was another woman walking near them as well). It was like 6:30 at night. We needless to say got the hell out of there as fast as we could, and nothing happened, but the whole situation just made me furious. I walked the rest of the way to the school and then to the supermarket swearing and cursing them for making me feel scared, cursing Brazil for having all these problems with violence, and cursing the São João holiday that is coming up at the end of June because the crime level goes up a lot the month before as people are trying to get money in order to travel and celebrate this holiday. After going to the market and then returning home (on the way back they were not there and it was totally safe), I had all kinds of feelings about how I am fed up with feeling scared, how I hate that I can´t relax on the street at any hour, and how the problem is so huge and societal that there seems to be no solution.
I understand now why Brazilians have this kind of reluctant acceptance of the violence here. It is easier to just not think about it than to constantly be trying to fight against it. The problem is so big, that it almost doesn´t seem worth the fight.